Teacher: Find me a man

While walking home from school today I saw some of my students. I waved to them from across the street, which was their invitation to run, three abreast, in front of two cars, to come and meet me. The girl in the middle is always entertaining, usually greeting me with, "Oh lady, my lady!" Today it was, "Teacher! I am fine thank you, and you?" "But I didn't ask how..." "Teacher! I love you!" "Thanks sweetie." "Teacher, I am alone." "No, you have your two friends." "Teacher, find me a man!" "Oh, I don't think..." "Teacher! I am solo, no boyfriend. I must have boyfriend, but how? Where I find?" "Well, I am not really an expert in finding a boyfriend, but I think that find one shouldn't be your prio..." "Teacher, he must be smart, and so handsome, and tall. Very, very tall. And strong. Not ugly!" "Well, I think that you still have a lot of time to find someone special." "BUT HOW???" "Um, study hard and do fun activities and maybe you will meet someone?" "Ok teacher, you know many people. You find me boyfriend." "I'm not doing your work for you." "Sigh, always alone." Then her two friends dragged her away, jabbering in Korean.

Some odd Korean Bookstore finds

 

A children's book about the sea king needing a rabbit liver to combat illness.

 

In case Korean decides to become a rabbi? It was written in English and Korean.

Monday Vignettes

Scene: 5th grade English classroom
Actors: 4 average level students and 1 teacher

Teacher: I went to Jeju-do this weekend.
Students: Ooooh! Teacher! Fun!
Teacher: It was, I went hiking, and ate good food.
Student A: Teacher? It is you? Uh, uh, mo? (The student grabs the teacher's arm and mimics walking down the aisle while humming the wedding march)
Teacher: Bwahahaha, NO! Not a honeymoon! Just a fun trip.


Scene: 5th grade English Classroom
Actors: 6 average level students and 1 teacher

Teacher: If I have to talk to you about talking, I will give you a yellow card. After 2 yellow cards you get 1 red car then you must leave the class.
Student A: Like soccer?
Teacher: Yes, exactly.
Student A: Can I be like England and yell at you after?
Teacher: No, sorry.
Student A: Sigh....

Food Fun

Every so often I come across something in Korea I just can't stomach. Pondeggee is one such item (stewed silk worms), and pickled eggs seem to be another. I didn't know I didn't like pickled eggs until a couple of days ago. It is entirely possible that I am just angry at them for surprising me the way they did.

Envision the scene: Tired, hungry, just returned from the grocery store. The thoughts of omlettes filled my head. The pan is heated, the bread is toasting, the cheese is sliced and ready to go. Out of the fridge come two eggs. They feel a little strange in my hands, though I can't put my finger on why. Instantly I worry they've gone off. Then I go to crack one. The shell feels strange under the pressure, softer almost. Also strange is the lack of white, or yolk, trying to get out. I peel the top of the shell off and realize that the egg has been hard boiled and smells of vinegar. Stupid preserved egg! I have 10 more of them sitting in my fridge. I hate them.

That is the story of why I hate pickeled eggs. Now I am off to the store to get some fresh ones.

Taking a walk

Being an elementary school teacher can take its toll. The kids can be noisy and disruptive little hell balls spawned in the bowels of Hormonia. I am mostly referring to the 6th graders here. Today, during my break, I fantasized about tearing out my own eyeballs and shoving them into my ears so I needn't see nor hear the 6th graders ever again. I spent my entire morning choking back the words, "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I tried to keep a smile on my face while doing this, which I think resulted in a small hemorrhage in my brain.

I really do like my job, but like with any job, some days just suck. I think it actually started this morning when I discovered my internet had conked out. Suck. Then I got to school and was accosted by 6th graders wanting to do anything but be quiet for 30 seconds. Suck. Then, when I thought I could have 10 minutes of peace after eating lunch, before beginning work on my lesson plans, I was jumped upon by yet another 6th grader. I respect this kid, he is horrible at English and actively trying to improve the situation by practicing with me some days after lunch. But let me at least leave the cafeteria first kid. He came in, a frenzied look in his eyes, "Teacher, English now!" "Just give me a min.." "Ok, now!" "5 minutes." I had to take my after lunch pill, and get some water. The look on his face changed to near panic, and I realized he didn't quite understand. Luckily my co was on hand to explain to him that I would be more than willing to give up the precious remainder of my lunch to tutor him, just after I took my pill.

Tutoring complete, it was time to work on my lesson plans. I hate doing these, they are tedious. Tedious and easy. The fact that they are easy makes them even harder to do, because I know they take about 10 minutes and I put them off. This being the case, I only got one done. Then it was time to prepare my lesson for the upcoming teacher's class and pop two aspirin. The teacher's class went well, but I just didn't feel like talking. I wanted some alone time. I also want a pony.

Finally, class was over and it was time to leave school. As I was trying to sneak out, two different teachers noticed me and offered me a ride. In the hight of summer or the dead of winter I would take it in a heart beat. Today though, the weather didn't suck. I wanted to take a walk. I told them I needed the exercise and sauntered off, earbuds firmly planted. Once outside I was stopped again and offered another ride. "No thanks, I really need to walk."

The real reason I wanted to walk was to see my kids. The same ones who made me believe self mutilation would be the solution to all my problems. When I walk home from school I usually run into my students, either on their way to hagwon, piano lessons, home to dinner, or off to see a friend. They always get a big grin on their face and rush over to see me. It is a pretty nice ego booster. I usually get home happy, because my kids were happy to see me outside of school and don't hold my homicidal eye twitches against me. Unsuck!

Ooh, plus, when I got home, my internet was back. Assah!

Learning to swear

Me to some of the advanced kids who came to talk to my co about something, "Do you want korean candy?" The boys laugh, "Teacher, this word and sign," as he does a slightly rude hand gesture, "it is Korean swear. It means 'fuck you' It is similar to candy name" "Oh, thanks!" "Of course teacher, ummm, don't be mad, I didn't say it to you, just teach you, ok?" "Hahaha, yeah, I know." This is the same boy who taught me that the word gossip sounds similar to the korean slang for cock. He's a gold mine!

Getting back into the swing of things

I've been back in Korea for about 3 weeks now. It was surprising how easy it was to get back into my daily routine. Wake up, grumble, start defrosting fruit, do yoga, shower, make smoothie, teach kids. The kids seem a bit easier too. Perhaps it is because I have known them for over a year now, and they know my angry face, or maybe I have become more patient. Whatever the reason, everyone seems to have a groove now.

My social life has been a bit hectic as well. Every weekend, and many week nights have been packed with friends. I have been trying to keep myself busy, so as not to think of a recent(ish) break up, and I usually succeed in falling dead asleep at the end of the day. Next week I head to Vietnam for a few days. A nice little beach holiday with some girlfriends, and then back to the hectic. It is actually kind of nice.

Forget All Your Wishful Thinking and Do Something Practical with Your Life

My friend Caitlin reminded me of a fortune cookie I got when we were in college together. It was our tradition to meet for lunch every day, eat as much starch as possible, and end the meal with the ever present fortune cookies. One afternoon, mine read, "Forget all your wishful thinking and do something practical with your life." I was horrified. How could a fortune cookie be so cruel? Caitlin, always the true friend, jumped into action, tore the already small paper into tiny bits, and threw it away. I have tried to spend the rest of my life defying that fortune.

Just over a year ago I packed up all my possessions, left some of them in the kind care of friends and parents, and took the rest with me to Korea. I am not entirely sure it was a practical thing to do, to leave all my friends and family and move to a new continent. My reasoning seemed right, I needed a job, they have a job, this is a good decision. But really, if I had tried, I could have found a job at home. That would have been the practical thing to do. Instead, I wished to be elsewhere. I had dreams of adventure and new places.

I am starting my second year in Korea now, and plan to be even less practical. I will continue to learn a language I will have little use for in the States. I will find a way to visit more countries without saving very much money (because I just want to spend my money on travel anyway) and maybe I will sky dive.

Fun with Google Translate

I was sent this message through the school's instant messaging service:
백두산 천지기운을 받으시고 2학기 신나게 출발 합시다^^

Here is what it translates into, per google:
Mt cosmic energy will not leave the area or two semesters fun ^^

Needless to say, that cleared everything right up. Praise be to Mt.CE!

Coming Home

In a few hours I will be boarding a bus to Incheon Airport. From there I will fly to Osaka and then on to San Francisco. I am nervous and excited about the prospect of going home. Nervous mostly because it is only 7:42pm and my bus doesn't leave until 1am. Will I make it to the bus on time? What if I fall asleep? Did I pack everything? Will there be enough room on the bus when I get there? I really, really hope I don't fall asleep. And that I packed everything.

I am excited to see my friends and family again. It has been over a year since I have seen some of them. I will be spending about 10 days travelling around the US and the rest of the time with my parents. I can't wait to eat some non Korean food. I can't wait for some Mom cooking. I can't wait for some fun with my friends. It has been a hard week and I need the diversion.

Getting there is going to be tough. The bus ride to the airport takes about 5.5 hours. From there I have at least 3 hours at the airport, assuming the flight is on time. Then a 6 hour layover in Osaka. I wish I had either more time, or less, in Osaka. I am not really a patient person and the waiting will be tough. It stresses me out.

There will be things I miss about Korea while I am gone. I will miss my Korean friends, the foods I like, and the places I go. I will miss the constant buzz of the cicadas, and my morning and evening drums and bells from the temple next door. But, I will be back soon, so hopefully they will still be here when I return. The heat and humidity is welcome to stay away upon my return.

I guess I should have something to eat and hop in the shower. I still have about 4 hours before I want to leave for the bus, and I have to recheck my luggage as well.

Untitled Korea Experiment

It's been almost a year since I came to Korea. I've noticed a lot of differences in the culture, some funny, some weird, many disgusting, and some just urine in the pants inducingly scary (Inducingly is an adverb now. I am mad with power.)

Before I came to Korea my mom and I went shopping for some new, teacher appropriate clothing. Modest hemlines and what I thought were modest tops were bought. Then I got here. The teachers often look like they are heading to a club after teaching from the bottom down. From the top up they might be one of those weird polygamist wives that were all the rage a few years back. Collars up to their chins. I think I get a little leeway because I am a foreigner, but I know they don't like that my clavicle shows. I usually just button up my cardigan, but then I have to make the decision, pull down the cardi a bit in the front so it covers my tatoos in the back, or risk showing my tattoos so that my luscious lady lumps are protected by about 6 inches of fabric. I generally choose to cover the tattoos, they are slightly more scandalous.

Koreans seem to blindly believe an awful lot. Maybe I am not getting the full picture due to my inability to speak fluent Korean, but it seems that if the general Korean is told something by a person or article of authority they just don't question it. Two examples: Fan Death and Judaism. Judaism first. I was talking to some of the teachers at my school, and the topic of my religion came up. Suddenly, one of the teachers said, "All Jewish are powerful and have lots of money. They buy buildings and use them for more power." Ummmm, citation needed. I asked what she meant, and where she had gotten her information. She said she read an article about it, but that was all the information she had. I asked if she believed it. "Yes, of course. I read it." This meant we got to have a long discussion about stereotypes and how they are not often true, and can hurt people's feelings. I explained that Jews are just like anyone else, with some being rich and powerful, some being very poor, and many just being normal, everyday people. Fun times. Now for fan death. Every Korean I have met, Every. Single. One. believes that they can die if they fall asleep with the fan running. They must always open a window whenever they are running a fan or the aircon, especially at night. There are a few theories as to why this happens. Split atoms, air molecules being cut up and disappearing, or just run of the mill hypothermia. They believe in this because it is reported on the news. Doctors state it as a cause of death. From what I have read, it is usually when the doctors just don't want to look for the real cause of death or don't want to state it. Fans can kill people!

There are different personal hygiene norms here. I have repeatedly seen people leave restrooms without washing their hands. Covering one's mouth while sneezing or coughing is not necessary, but in the winter many people wear masks... that are usually not pulled down over their mouth. Oh, and I have been spit on. Well, my shoe has. People here spit everywhere. The sad part is that I am starting to get used to the sound and sight of it.

Koreans are often fascinated by the idea of westerners wearing shoes in the house. They think our floors must be filthy all the time. I need to find a nice way of saying that our ground is a little cleaner (as far as ground can be) and so we are not constantly tracking in phlegm, sodden hooker flyers, and (what I pray to god is) dog shit.

Food. As long as you like Korean food, you will never go hungry. Koreans must feed everyone around them. Today I was actually force fed some watermelon. I love watermelon, I can eat a ton, but I was taken by surprise when some was shoved into my mouth. When I first got here, I was a bit uncomfortable with the attention I received just for eating. Did I eat enough, I must still be hungry, here, have some more, no, it is good for health. It seems all Korean food is good for health. It is a wonder anyone ever gets sick in this country.

Speaking of the sick and injured, I see about 20 people in casts every day. I can't figure out if they actually broke something, or if it precautionary. My kids are constantly in slings or crutches. I ask what happened and I usually get, "Oh teacher, I ran too fast." Today I asked a boy what happened and he told me he was running too fast and ran into a wall. I really hope that's the truth.

Ok, that's it for now. I am really going to try and be better about this thing from here on out. Plus, I have a whole new year to write a bunch of meaningless drivel. Wheeeee!

Make my day

Today, after a particularly trying morning with the 5th graders, in which I had to punish two kids and have my co-teacher yell, in Korean, at a third, I was feeling pretty craptastic. Oh, and when I asked a student what he did over the weekend he said, "Killed." "Ummmm, what?" "I killed ants. And other things." My Monday was not going the way I wanted, my game had fallen flat, and I was tired. Then I went to lunch and was ignored and talked about for the first 10 minutes or so. After lunch, I just wanted to sit quietly and bash my head against the wall. Then one of my students came to visit and gave me this:
Dear. Jeniffer
HELLO! I'm Min-Jeong
Before I met you I don't like English, but now I like English very much. I can use grammar well, and I can read in Korea to English. Thank you very much.

In summer, Pohang has flame festival. It is very beautiful and colorful. You had better see it.

Good bye.

Sincerely, Min-Jeong

Awwwww!

Republic of Korea Democracy in Action

Mid week days off are always a mixed bag. It is nice not to go to work, but the whole day always feels a little bit like Sunday, with work looming over your head. That being said, it was a fun day filled with looking at fish at the market, finding paprika, and eating too much. Why did I have a day off you ask? For the Republic of Korea's election day. Yep, here in Korea they get a day off so that they can not vote. I think I read somewhere that voter turn out is less than 50%. I can kinda see why. After being blasted for weeks by trucks driving by blaring casio keyboard sounding music, I kind of hated all the candidates.

For the last few weeks the campaigns have been growing. It started with a banner here, a billboard there. Then the trucks. The trucks drive around the city blasting music and slogans. The one that came around my neighbourhood the most played the Miami Vice theme song. I am not sure what that candidate was trying to convey. Maybe, if he won, we would all be protected from Cuban drug lords. Or we will all be forced to have 5 o'clock shadow and loafers with no socks. It is hard to tell.

Closer to the election I started seeing people dressed in coordinated windbreakers bowing and waving at street corners. As the weeks went along in that way they always do, their numbers grew, as did the intricacies of their bows. The bows turned into full fledged dancing, although it was rare to see a dancer smile. On street corners all over Korea one could see somber faced, brightly colored campaign monkeys. A week away from the election and the dancers were often joined by the candidate himself. Or, in one case, one one wearing a comically large foam rubber caricature head of the candidate. I tried to get a picture, but my phone decided to be a jerk and not let me do it.

Walking around my neighborhood became an exercise in campaigner doing. I am not usually one to promote racial profiling, but I wish these people had looked at my face and realized I was not a citizen of their country. I was constantly being handed cards with the smiling face of the prospective leader beaming back at me. That's fine, I can use them as book marks. It was when I was actually chased down the street and practically tackled, all in an effort to give me a card, that I became a bit annoyed.

All the candidates here are assigned a number and color (I think they are assigned the color anyway. Each candidate had his own.) They have posters and banners everywhere, deadpan cheerleaders, and gimmicky foam rubber heads. The whole thing feels a bit like an over eager school election. Still, it was a sight to behold.

The elections are over now, so I finally have some peace. I kind of miss the music now though.

Igo

A child just ran into my classroom, "Igo," handed me a cap to a black dry erase marker, "bye," and was gone. I think we are betrothed now.

Great moments in teaching...

For those of you who don't have facebook and don't get to see my fairly frequent updates about what is going on at school.

Interesting observations of the day: Ch1 of the grade 6 CD-Rom has a rather racist picture of a black kid. Secondly the new 5th grade English teacher thinks I am her bitch and just dropped 4 classes of grading on my desk to be ready by Tuesday.

"Teacher! You are just like Ariel!" Ooh, let's see where this goes. "Soon Prince Eric will fall in love with someone else! Not you! You have no voice." "Oh."

"Chyennipur, why you not eating the sausage." "It's moving of its own accord." "I am sorry, what?" "It isn't to my style."

"I have 4 children, how many do you have?" "Ummm, none." "Oh! But you are married! Why no children?" "I'm not married." "WHAT?!?!?!" I didn't even get to my puppy kicking and baby punching habit.

New volunteers from the university meet me at lunch, "Oh! You are eating Korean food!" "Yes I am." "But no westerners like it!" "Some do." "But it is too spicy for you!" "No, it's ok, I used to eat hot peppers out of the jar as a kid." "And you can use chopsticks!!!!" "I am made of magic." "Ooooh."

"Teacher, I have a question?" "Ok." Who is Simon?" "Huh?" "Simon says touch your toes, who is Simon?" "Oh! It is just a name we use because 'says' starts with an S and we like alliteration." "What is alliteration?" "One of my favorite things ever." "Ok, I like it too."

"Good morning Chyennipur! Today you look like the girl with the dog." Quizzical look on my face. "The one who killed that lady." Horrified look on my face. "She took the lady's shoes." "Oh! You mean Dorothy from Wizard of Oz?" "Yes, today you are her!"

"Teacher, teacher!!" "Hi!" Breathless student, "Hi! I remember your family name. You said yesterday." "Oh that's good, what is it?" "Hymen!" Then I died of laughter.

"Chyennipur teacher! I love you! Marry me!" "Ok, let's get married tomorrow." "Oh!" runs away.

"Teacher! I want to go to England to eat the national food of fish and chips and Indian food and David Beckam." "You want to eat David Beckam?" "Yes, oh, what?"

"I will use the fickle finger of fate to choose the next person." "Teacher! That is an alliteration!" Holy crap, they are retaining information!

"Did you break it?"

"No teacher! Bad magic! Bad magic break it!"

"What is your favorite day?" "My favorite day is Wednesday because I only have 3 academies to go to, and then tae kwan do, and then homework, and then I can take a rest." "Oh.... Um, and what is your favorite day (other student)" "My favorite day is Saturday because I can collect bugs." "Oh! Me too! We will be bug scientists!" "That's called an entomologist." "Oh, ok, I want to be that."

"What is your favorite day?" "I hate every day." "Why?" "Because days are stupid. I like night. I am a vampire. My English name is Edward." "Okie dokie Sparkle Vampire, what is your favorite night?"

"Don't kill each other!" "Hahaha, oh teacher, he MUST die!"

"A, no, no, B! No! Q!" "Ahhh, you make him dead!" "It's ok, we will just play agai.." Little boy looks at the little girl with murder in his eyes, "I hate you now. I want you die." "Um, it's just hangman. Say you are sorry." "I not sorry, I want her dead." "Ok, game over!"

"Chyennipur! Super model!" "Aw, thanksaaag!" As I get a slap on the back from the principal that sends me careening into the cafeteria door. Then, in line: You try! Korean hamburger! You try!!! As he shoves bulgogi wrapped in kimchee into my mouth. Good for you buddy, who needs rules of personal space or etiquette?

"Chyennipur Teacher, I want to clean your room today." "Oh, I think you have to wait two weeks until you are back in here to clean." "I am so sad." "Would it make you feel better to come over and clean my apartment?" "REALLY? I can?" "Ooooh, ummm, oh look, your class is leaving." There is going to be a 5th grader with a broom and dust pan waiting outside my apartment now.

Five Cities Three Days

I get to leave school early on Fridays because I work late a few nights a week and my school doesn't want to pay me extra. It works out nicely for me because I can go to the bank and post office, both of which close before I can get there on a normal day. I can then go home, take care of a few things, read: nap, and then head out. This past Friday was no different.

Friday afternoon I left school, walked home accompanied part of the way by two of my 6th grade students. It is normal for me to be accosted by students on my way home. I often feel like Snow White at Disney Land, with the kids flocking towards me. I rather like it, as it makes me feel important. At some point though I want to put in my earphones and just be alone for a bit. This particular Friday, in an effort to get some Jenn time, I handed the girls 1000 won and told them to get some candy. They took it and started to run off, only to be attacked by a wizened ajuma who, in perfect English, smacked them and shouted, "Say thank you!" The girls bowed profusely, said thank you, and then scampered into the store for their candy. The little old lady then turned to me and said, "So beautiful!" then went on her way. I love her now.

After paying some bills and ending up at home, I accidentally fell asleep for a few hours. Upon waking it was time to shower, throw on some new clothes and head to Gyeongju for a going away party. Gyeongju was city number one on my whirlwind adventure. Fun was had, Lizzi and Howard said goodbye to everyone, John sang, tears were shed, and then it was time to find a motel for the night. I ventured back towards the bus station thinking it would be easy to get a room. This is important: Because I thought it would be quick and easy, I did not use the bathroom before I left the bar. I entered the first motel and was greeted by a woman making an ex sign with her arms. In Korea this means no. Slightly crestfallen, I left and headed to the next nice looking motel. Cue the fail buzzer again. Number three was no better, and at this point my teeth hurt, I had to pee so badly. Motel number four was also a no go, and by number five I was near tears. Thankfully the little old man had a room for me. He looked a bit worried though and kept saying, "Ondol, ondol!" That meant I would be sleeping on the floor, traditional Korean style. I didn't care, as long as it had a toilet and a pillow... which it did. Ten minutes later I was greatly relieved and passed out on a heated mat on the floor.

Day two started with me waking up confused. Where was I and why was on the floor? Once that got sorted out in my head it was time to pack up my stuff and head back to the bus. I had to catch the 10am but to Busan, in order to meet Marie at 1pm. By some strange miracle I actually managed to be on the bus by 9:58am. Armed with water, a can of coffee, and some yogurt, I was ready to go. One hour long bus ride later I was in Busan, city number two. Another hour on the subway and I was in Marie's apartment. My efforts were well rewarded by getting to see Marie and her lovely South African goodies. Hmm, let me rephrase that. Marie recently went back to South Africa and brought me some candy. Well armed with chocolate we headed out for the next leg of the journey. Jinhae for the cherry blossom festival.

It turns out that Jinhae is a popular place to visit during the festival. According to one of my co teachers it is where the first cherry trees in Korea were planted. We had to wait next to something fairly malodorous (old food and gasoline maybe?) for about 20 minutes before being allowed on a bus. We were lucky though, we were able to get seats. Some others had to stand for the hour ride, one with a comically large decor plant.

In Jinhae I wanted to find a motel room right away, to avoid a replay of the night before. Once that was settled it was time to head to the festival itself. Into the crush of people we forged, found a stall, got some seats, and got lunch, Korean pancakes with green onions, other vegetables, and octopus. Pictures were taken of the trees and people. Marie kept expecting a bride to appear, walking through the almost entirely white trees. They were all fluffy and soft looking, like they had been frosted. The people were pretty interesting too, with couples, and sometimes whole families, dressing in matching outfits.

After we had our fill of sight seeing, we camped out in a coffee shop for what turned out to be about two hours. Marie eventually had to head back to Busan, so she handed me off to another friend who was in Jinhae and headed home. My friend and I had dinner, pork roasted on a spit over hot coals which nearly gave me a food orgasm, had a bit of a wander, and then called it a night.

Day three and time to head home. After breakfast my friend and I tried to take a cab to the bus station. Apparently the cab driver thought he could just drive us all the way back to Gyeongju. Nervous laughter and a couple of phone calls to Koreans later we were unceremoniously dropped at a bus terminal in Masan... not exactly where we planned to be. Luckily the ride afforded some more sight seeing and a funny story. Masan was city number 4. City number 5 was Daegu, otherwise known as the only bus we could get anywhere near our actual destination. From Daegu it was back to Gyeongju, and then home sweet home, Pohang.

So, that was my crazy weekend. Now it is time to put squid ink in my hair.

Stood up

I've been stood up. I rushed home, changed, cleaned up the apartment, and here I sit. Alone. Sad. Dirty clothing with no where to go. The washing machine repair man was supposed to be here at 7. It is now 9:30 and there is no repair man. He has forsaken me. He has forsaken my clothing. Now he says he won't come until Friday. I need him now! My life is meaningless without him. I have shit to wash!

I weep for my laundry.

Ham hocks and kasha

When I was little, I would ask my mom what was for dinner and would often get, "ham hocks and kasha." To this day I am still not entirely clear on what kasha is, other than some kind of grain thing from eastern Europe. Ham hocks are generally not eaten, unless you live in South Korea and buy yourself the sliced up leg of a pig. Here is a story about eating (probably) ham hocks.

Tonight was a Korean food night in the small studio of Miss Jennifer Harris. As she sat around, waiting for the washing machine repair man to show up (still hasn't, grrr), she thought to herself, "It sure would be a waste if I let that pig leg I bought yesterday just sit in the fridge. I wonder if the bok choi is still good as well," and a dinner was formed. From the feet of a pig to the Asian cabbage about to go off in her enormous refrigerator she cobbled together a meal. Using soy sauce, sirracha, and some oyster sauce she made the bok choi edible. The meat was a bit easier, requiring only a few minutes in the wok and some hoisin (imported from the US as it turns out). On to the plate they went, and then quickly into her mouth, as the taste was surprisingly good. Her taste buds were pleased with her efforts and danced a happy jig.

Now Jennifer sits on her bed, fondly reminiscing about her meal, sure in the knowledge that some elves are doing her dishes... and still waiting for that fucking repair man. Seriously, he was supposed to be here an hour and a half ago.

Teaching the Teachers

Korean culture is a delicate thing. I think I am given some leeway because I am western and don't know any better, but generally the social structure is rigid and unforgiving. Saying "I don't know," is seen as a weakness, especially in a teacher. Asking, "why," to a superior is rarely done. These aspects of society put me in a weird spot a few times a week as I settle in to teach the teachers at my school and in Pohang in general.

I am younger than all but one of the teachers in my school. I am younger than many of the teachers in Pohang. A few times a week I have to teach these same teachers English. At my school I spend much of class sitting there, being ignored by the older teachers, as they chat away in Korean. I hate teaching the beginner teachers as they are often terrible students. They refuse to talk, they refuse to listen, and they refuse to be called to order. One told me, earlier this week, that it was very difficult for her to learn English because I was younger than her and she wasn't sure it was right. Fine, I am younger and you are trained to think that I am not worth as much respect, but can we all agree that I speak English better than you and you signed up to take an English class? I am not sure why she, or any of the others, show up. I am not going to narc on them for skipping my class. I could be using that time to play scrabble online.I am hoping next week's lesson will be better, when I teach them cooking terminology.

The intermediate class is a little better. A friend of mine is in the class, as well as my co teacher and a teacher who I think views me as a fascinating pet. They talk very little, but they at least listen when I speak. I have decided to make their classes more fun by just teaching them slang. Last week the word was "cougar." This week the word was "jacked." My friend is my age and speaks English the best, the other two just stare at me. I think I fascinate them. I feel like some strange creature from another planet in their eyes. They look at me, and I think they see this humanoid who embodies every stereotype they have every heard about western culture, true or not. They have asked me if I own guns, if things they see in movies are true, and have intimated that my brothers are smarter than me simply because they are boys. I take it all with a grain of salt and a big pinch of different culture. I try to set them straight when I can, and the rest of the time, I just sort of smile and nod. They will never really listen to me because I am younger than them.

I also teach classes at the Middle School next door. I don't do it every day, but once or twice a week I go there to teach the Pohang teachers. I have only done a few, but here is what I have noticed: The older men don't respect me at all, the older women seem to pity me as I certainly can't take care of myself. The teachers closer to my age seem to want to be my friend, and two teachers who are younger than me look at me with such disdain, I want to knock their heads together like coconuts. Oh, and one asked me out. The older men in the class obviously see me as someone who is below them, and I am fairly certain they were forced to take the class. The older women also see me as below them, but they want to take care of me. A younger, unmarried woman is some for which you must feel sorry. She is lonely and needs to be married off as soon as possible. Most of the English they speak involves asking me about my love and personal life. Do I have a boyfriend? Can I cook? Am I lonely? The female teachers closer to my age want me to hang out with them. I think they are a little jealous of the freedoms the perceive western women to have. The two young men teachers who I want to bop on the head are just jerks. They remind me of my smug elementary school students.

I hear a screaming child in my stairwell which means it is time for me to close up shop and jump in the shower. Happy April Fools Day!

Language Barrier

I am trying my best to learn Korean, but my progress is slow. Here are some funny exchanges of the day, mostly due to an inability to understand each other.

This first one is over the school chat system, with my new co-teacher, a woman I really like.
jenifer(DH1000) 님의 말:
Good morning! Do you know if we will teach 2nd period today?
jenifer(DH1000) 님의 말:
because of the elections
권영심(DH915) 님의 말:
no, we have no class today.
jenifer(DH1000) 님의 말:
No class all day?
jenifer(DH1000) 님의 말:
or just no class for 2nd period?
권영심(DH915) 님의 말:
sorry, now the head teacher said we have a class today
jenifer(DH1000) 님의 말:
For 2nd period?
jenifer(DH1000) 님의 말:
Should I come meet you right now?
권영심(DH915) 님의 말:
no. you don't need teach today. i just manage the student because of elections

I have to scan some info and send it to the EPIK office. I brought it into the admin office for the scanning. 20 minutes later:
Teacher who introduced herself as someone who was very good at English: Chyennipur, the scanner is not working. We will do it this afternoon.
Me: I think the scanner is not on.
Teacher: Ok
Me: It might work better if it is on.
Teacher: Ok, scanner not working, maybe this afternoon.
Me: Riiiight, but maybe if we turn it on, it will work.
Teacher: Ok. Scanner error.
Me: What if we turn it on. See the button right here? Turn it on.
Teacher: (turns on machine) Scanner is error. This afternoon you will have scan.
Me: Well, I need it sooner than that. Please try again, now that the scanner is on.
Teacher: Ok. (Walks away.)

A really good day.

Today started out like most days do, my alarm went off, I groaned, rolled over, and hit snooze. It went off again, I swore, turned it off and embraced lethargy for a few moments. Lately the days at school have been dragging. This week I am teaching in the mornings, but the last few weeks I haven't had any classes. The afternoons are generally the same. They involve the sort of boredom that makes me fantasize of smashing my head into my desk repeatedly. Today was a little different though.

At school my kids arrived and were in a particularly cheerful and playful mood. Making the most of it, I hammed it up in class, eliciting cheers and exclamations of, "Teacher! You are so funny! Most funny teacher!!" They especially liked my impression of every TV announcer ever and my fake Brooklyn accent.

After entertaining myself and the kids all morning, I decided to keep the moment and pay some bills. I was mildly shocked and pleased, when checking my balance pre-bill pay to see I had managed to save some money this month, despite sending a lot home and going on a ski trip. Bills paid, it was time to head back to school, a chore to which I did not look forward. Luckily for me, two friends were online to help kill the boredom of an hour or so.

Fast forward to the end of the day, my school friend Minhe met me and we walked home together. I confided in her my deep fear of ordering take out, and my desire to overcome said fear. The walk turned into a tutorial and by the time I reached my destination I felt slightly more confident.

Upon reaching my apartment, I realized I was out of coffee. Thank the deity of your choice I caught this tonight, because there were have been a lot more than the usual morning swears tomorrow had I not noticed. Back out I went into the balmy night (oh yes, did I mention the weather has warmed up considerably, making the outside a happy place?) and off I went, while pretending to take an evening stroll near the Mediterranean, to Starbucks. While downtown I even remembered to pay my phone bill before it was cut off for non-payment.

Back home once more I pulled out my payed off phone and a take out menu. I stared at both for about 5 minutes, took a deep breath and dialed the number. Hooray for Minhe and her tutorial. I managed to order what I wanted, give my address and tell them I lived near a temple. 30 minutes later I was sitting on my floor, eating the best Andong Jim Daak I have ever had. It was for 3-4 people, so I will be enjoying it for days.

And THAT was a really good day.

More teaching pics

These are from the citywide English camp.

What goes up must come down

My knees are black and blue, my ass is sore, and that is just from hiking. This past weekend I went on my first ski trip in 15 years. Despite the bumps, bruises, and losing battle with gravity, I had an amazing time.

The trip started on a bus to Seoul. Too excited to sleep, I felt every hour of the long ride. The plan was to meet my friends in Seoul on Friday night then head to the group meeting point in the morning. Finally, at 1am I made it to the hostel where we would be spending the night. After a shower and a chat with my travel buddy Marie it was off to bed for a few hours sleep before the trip. The next morning started with confusion and Marie's smiling face, letting me know we had about 10 minutes to be on our way. Luckily I just had to throw on some clothes, struggle with my boots, henceforth to be called the Boots of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, and head out the door. We were meeting the rest of the group in Itaewon, which is the westerner part of Seoul. Itaewon is lovely, they have coffee and yogurt there. Coffee and breakfast in hand we met up with everyone in a surprisingly tiny van. Then it was off to Gangwon-do for some fun in the snow.

Of course, I should mention that this was Lunar New Year. It is a time when everyone in Korea heads home to be with family. This made for slow going on the highways. We spent about 5 hours in the van before finally reaching our destination. We made a few stops along the way where Marie introduced me to the wonders of rest stop potatoes. Those things are wonderful. Eat them whenever you can.

Once we got to the town with the ski resort we had a traditional Korean lunch and dropped our stuff off in our rooms. Marie, Naomi and I were sharing a room which meant 3 in one bed. Poor Marie would come to regret choosing the middle, after Naomi and I ate our weight in garlic at dinner. Around 4 e met up again to hike a small mountain near our hotel. Not knowing what to expect I put on the Boots of Doooooooooooooom once more, my heavy coat, gloves, and hat. Had I a pair of water proof pants and knee pads, and the gift of foresight, I would have worn those as well. The hike started innocently enough, pretty snow, pretty icicles, pretty trees, then wham! Down I went. Ok, no big deal, I will just get up and wham! The rest of the hike up consisted of me doing my best Flintstones impression (you know, when they ran but didn't go anywhere) and getting propped up by Marie and Naomi. Those two deserve a medal for not leaving me to die in the snow. We never made it to the top, it was getting dark and we didn't want to be stranded on an icy mountain with more snow coming in, especially with me, the girl who couldn't stand up. We turned around and started heading back down the mountain, which was faster, if not easier. My Boots of Dooooooom held no more traction heading down, and I nearly broke Marie's shoulder as she tried to help me stay upright. Frankly, it was easier just sliding down on my tuchas, though probably less safe. I was so embarrassed by my performance, I didn't feel how cold my body had gotten on my slide back down the mountain, though I felt it later. Finally at the base the group loaded back on to the van and headed to the sauna at the ski resort. Do you know what the best thing in the world is after sliding ass first down an icy mountain? A sauna. I refused to come out until no part of me was cold to the touch, which took about an hour. One of the other girls and I actually lost track of time and only just made it to the group at the appointed hour.

After warming up we headed back down to the town and tried on some ski equipment and got some dinner. Korean BBQ is the best thing to eat when you are starving and recently defrosted. Just stay away from the garlic if you are sharing a bed with Marie and want her to be your friend in the morning.

The next morning it was time to ski. I was nervous, but kept reminding myself that I had already embarrassed myself to the max the day before and there was no where to go but up. Even knowing that I only stayed on the baby slope the whole time. I am the master of the baby slope now. Maybe next time I will try the bunny slope... maybe. The day was filled with skiing on a tiny bump in the landscape, eating, drinking coffee, and heading back to the sauna. It was all capped off with pizza in a gondola (the best way to eat it.)

The next morning we all piled back in the van for a slightly shorter journey back to Seoul. Once back in Itaewon we were treated to snacks and drinks by the trip organizer and headed off in our own directions. Marie, Naomi and I went in search of kebabs. Actually, not just any kebabs, the specific kebabs I had eaten with Marty the last time I was in Seoul. Never forgetting the location of a good meal, it was found quickly and Marie and I had two each. I am still a little full. Naomi had eaten at a bun place the last time she was in Seoul, so we headed there next, the walk peppered with window shopping, a run in with my friend Dave, and people watching. When almost all hope was lost we found the bun shop, had a bun and some more coffee and then made a mad dash for the subway to catch our various transports home. I managed to make my bus just in time, although Marie said she was not so lucky with her train. Finally settled into my seat, earbuds firmly planted in my ears, it was time to go home. Bruised, battered and happy.

Japan Slide Show

The internet is great because you no longer need to invite people over to your home, which means cleaning and cooking, to show them your stupid slide show. Enjoy!

Pictures taken by Polly and Jenn.

When I went to Andong

I had an extra week of vacation after I returned from Japan. I had this grand scheme of going somewhere new every day and exploring the country. But then it was cold. And I sent a lot of money home. And then I booked a ski trip. So I went to Andong. Andong is in my province and about 2 hours away by bus. They are known for their mask festival (Which was canceled this year because of the flu), and well preserved traditional villages. They even shoot tv shows and movies there because the houses are so well looked after. Book in hand I was ready to sight see while spending as little money as possible. I made it to the bus station 2 hours later than planned, bought my ticket and sat down to wait for my bus. Upon closer inspection I noticed my ticket was actually for Angong. I have been there, and aside from the lovely EPIK teachers who live there, there isn't much to see. Back to the window I went for a "who's on first?" style conversation to get my ticket changed. Thankfully I noticed just in time and managed to make it onto the bus just before departure.

I got to Andong much later than intended but it was fine, as I only had my own schedule to deal with. After a quick trip to the tourist office, where I was greeted by a woman who looked thrilled to see me, I went off on foot to see the 7 story brick pagoda and traditional village. Did you know that a 7 story brick pagoda isn't as big as it sounds? It was nice but a little underwhelming. The best part was a stone carving that looked eerily like Buddha Yoda. After reaching my goal of the village I sight saw for about 30 minutes before hail came to ruin all my fun. "No problem," thought I, "I will just cab it back to the city center." Except no cabs would stop for me. This is something I notice in Korea. If a lot of my face is showing, and it is obvious I am white, I often have a hard time getting a cab. It sucks. Back through the hail I travelled, finally getting to the city center. I had packed extra clothes in my purse, in case I wanted to stay the night and continue looking around the next day, but by that time I was sick of Andong and just wanted to go home to warm up.

At the bus terminal I bought my ticket back to Pohang and sat down to wait the 1.5 hours until my bus arrived. Now, given the ticket buying experience on the way to Andong, you would have though I double checked my ticket before leaving the window. I didn't. I just sat there, eating gimbap, waiting for my bus watching Korean tv. About 45 minutes later I heard Pohang announced and though, "Huh?" I went out to investigate, and that is when I noticed my ticket was for Pohwai. I thought it seemed cheap. I played charades with the bus driver to hold the bus, ran back in, fixed my ticket, and jumped on the bus. I was one of only two people on that bus, and the other guy could not stop farting. I was quite pleased to get off in Pohang, go home, and crawl under the covers of my warm bed.

That time I went to Japan

Last year I was sitting in my apartment in Portland watching Doctor Who, wondering what I was going to do with my life. Also I was thinking about how hot David Tennant is, and how much fun it would be to zip around time and space in a police box. Fast forward one year and I am sitting in in my apartment in South Korea, eating seaweed (salty and delicious) packing up some things I will need for my random bus adventure tomorrow. But, that's tomorrow.

Last week I went to Japan. I have always wanted to visit Japan, but honestly never really thought I would... I also never thought I would be living in Korea, so there you go. Polly and I agreed to meet there during my vacation so I was doubly excited. The trip started on January 17 at 6:30 in the morning, which is when I woke up. 30 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I was excited. I dressed, ate, threw the last of the needed things in my bag, and with half an hour before I needed to leave for the bus station I decided to update my ipod. That was actually pretty stupid as it took 45 minutes and I almost missed my bus. Never mind though, I caught my bus and headed for the airport. Two hours later I started my first independent and unassisted navigation of a Korean airport. I managed to make it though and then it was time to wait. And wait. And wait. Luckily I had a book. Unluckily I was so ready to be in Japan and see Polly I was doing a pretty good impression of a tiny, perpetually cold, dog.

The flight

I love flying from one non-American country to another. Things seem easier even though you don't speak the language. Security didn't seem as tight, the flight staff seemed more pleasant. Even the food was better.

Arrival
See! Look at how pretty and non-touchy it is. There were 4 different kinds of rice (one was under cheese with crab, a strange combination but good), chicken, veggies, egg, and pickled plum. Oh, and on my itinerary this was described as a light snack. Thankfully for me I had a light lunch of yogurt before boarding.

Upon arriving in Japan I had to figure out how to get to the terminal Polly was coming in to. This proved more difficult when I discovered there were two airports in the area, and no one seemed to agree on which one a flight from Portland, OR might be coming to. Because I am so savvy I decided to go to terminal 1 in my airport and check the board first, then if there was no Northwest flight from Portland, I could just skedaddle over to the other airport. I made the right choice (which is why I think I would be good on one of those game shows where you have to pick door number one or door number two), saw I had a little time to kill, changed some money, then tried to figure out how to find the place Polly and I had agreed on meeting. Meandering through terminal 1 I happened to look up just as Polly walked out the arrivals door. Hooray! I frightened some poor travelers with my screech, but the nice thing about travelling is that you will probably never see the random strangers again, so you can do what you want (up to a point. Don't be rude.)

Reunited and it feels so goooood

Yay! Polly and Jenn together again! I was pretty energized because I had no time change and it was only around 5pm. Poor Polly on the other hand had pretty much lost a day. Still, she persevered and off we went to find out hotel for the first night. We stayed our first night in Tokyo, at a hotel near the train station. The plan was to get up early and take the train to Kyoto in the morning. That night though we wanted to eat, look around, and sleep.

The first hotel was nice, and we were offered a "very spacious" room. I assume that they confused "very spacious" with "you can pretty much walk around the bed." The room was tiny, but as we were only there to sleep, it didn't matter. We dropped off our stuff, I tried on this lovely number,

and out we went to forage for food. There'

s a lot of neon in Tokyo. Sometimes I wonder if natives of Tokyo have ever seen total darkness. Maybe they are afraid of the dark like Canadians? Who knows? The neon was pretty and distracting and it took us a while to find dinner. How could we eat when there was craziness all around us? My dad would love it. Every building has a TV attached. I loved it. Eventually though, we did need to eat. We looked at a few restaurants and chose the one with the best looking plastic food. Japan has turned plastic food into an art form. It seems most restaurants have plastic food or pictures in front so you know what they serve. Maybe not all, but I don't see how Polly and I would have known it was a restaurant without tempura art decorating the glass case in front. The moment we walking into the dining room I had a sense of deja did it again. It sort of smelled Korean in there. Hmmm. How could this be? We opened up the menu and BLAM! We had picked a Korean restaurant. Whoops. Oh well. I like Korean food and it was fun for me to share some of what I learned about the food with Polly. We got seafood stew and I finally got to be the one to b

e in charge of cooking on the table.

Hooray!

After some walking around of the Ginza district, Polly and I headed back to the hotel to share the one tiny bed I had reserved for us. This is why Polly is the Plan Pony. She is better at it.

Faster than a speeding bullet locomotive
The next morning Polly and I hopped on the Kyoto bound bullet train for some speedy travel to, you guessed it, Kyoto. We were excited because we thought there would be crazy food vending machines on the train, but alas, there were only beverages. Cart lady to the rescue! She provided us with some very tasty bento boxes, much better than you would ever find on Amtrak. The train ride was a lot of fun. We saw Mt. Fuji, a crazy valley that had snow, when none around it did, and little villages and what not. Bullet trains are the way to travel. The seats were comfy, there was that wonderful trolley lady, and no air turbulence. Bullet trains for all!!

Kyoto
We spent 2 days and one night in Kyoto. The days started with Polly shaking our tiny Tokyo bed at 6:30 in the morning, in an attempt to get me up. We took the 2.5 hour train ride to Kyoto, dropped our stuff off at the hotel, and went in search of Japanese history across the street at the Nijo Castle. It was beautiful there, and Polly and I have decided that when we move to Japan, that will be our home. There were some rooms with funny names, like "Shogun arms" and "Head of maid." So many body parts. The floors squeaked in a way that sounded like birds chirping, in order to warn of intruders, and the gardens were very relaxing. We also met a swell old man who told us there were 4 seasons in Japan... as opposed to other parts of the world I guess.
Later that day we saw the biggest pagoda in Japan... after wandering around for quite a while. It was worth it though, learning about the different religions and beliefs of the world is always worth it.
The next day we headed over to a shrine from the movie, "Lost in Translation." There was a park next to the shrine we meandered through for about an hour, ending up at the world's longest line to see an old well. We decided not to wait in the line, because the guide book said nothing about the well granting the power of flight, or anything else for that matter. Finishing up our tour of the shrine, we headed over to the Kyoto zoo. Zoos are fun, right? They are whimsical, magical places where you can see animals from all over the world, right? This one was sad. It was tiny, and they had 3 giraffes penned up in a cage about the size of my apartment. The elephants looked like they were waiting for the sweet release of death, and the big cats were more lethargic than other cats. It reminded me of the crazy tiny zoos in Warner Bros cartoons. We did see a red panda, which is the greatest non panda of all, so that was the highlight. I even bought a cellphone charm of said red panda to remind of it always. After the zoo we headed back to the hotel, picked up our stuff and went back to the train station. Before getting on our train we decided to have some lunch. Oh this lunch. Never have I had sushi so good, and it was on a conveyor belt! Tuna, salmon, and uni. My mouth is watering just thinking about it now. Oh, but wait! This was actually the 2nd time we had this sushi. We had it the day before, at the same train station. That's right, we went there twice because it was SO FUCKING GOOD. I am going to marry this sushi. I know I say that about a lot of things, but this time it is true. I have finally found the one and its name is Ahi.

Back to Tokyo we go
After lunch we got back on the train and headed to Tokyo to spend the rest of our time. The train ride back wasn't quite as good at first because the train was packed and we couldn't sit together at the beginning. Luckily I am like a seat ninja, a trait I get from my father, and the moment the seat next to Polly was free, I was in it like lightening. Arriving in Tokyo we managed to navigate our way through the subway system to our hotel where we were bumped up to a deluxe double room. Swank. Well, it was a little swank. It wasn't premier class, just excellency class.
Stuff safely stowed in our room we went out to do some exploring. It was later in the day, so we just wanted to look around the neighborhood and take some pictures of the bright lights. Eventually it was time to eat again, so taking a page from Tony Bourdain, we decided to eat in a non touristy restaurant where we probably wouldn't be able to speak the language. Eventually we found a little udon joint where we actually had to take the owner outside to point to the foods we wanted. Oh, that is something to note, the plastic food in Japan looks almost real. There is an artistry to it. Anyway, udon achieved, we wandered a bit more and headed back for some much needed sleeping.

The next day was jam packed with temples, shrines, and city exploring. That night we went to a bar on the 52nd floor of the Hyatt for an amazing view of the city and the world's most expensive drinks. The day after we went to the Imperial Palace, which was less exciting than I had hoped, but we did get to walk around a park. We also went to the Tokyo National Museum, another park, the Sony technology center (land of 3-D tvs!!!) and Harijuku for some weirdo watching. The next day was more shrines, and markets. The market was packed, frantic, and cool. I got all my souvenirs there, including a snow globe and the cutest little doll you ever did see. We also ate sweet potato ice cream, a chocolate pudding fish, and Polly made a new friend by accidentally throwing her chopstick at her.

Final thoughts
Japan and Korea are similar in a lot of ways. In both countries I generally have no idea what is going on, and have a very difficult time speaking the language. A few differences I noticed were better drivers in Japan, less shoving (I really hate the Korean shoving culture), less shouting, and better food. At least I can read Korean characters though.

So that was my trip. More pics to come.

Some pics of my students

Hey, did you know I am a teacher? Here are some of my students. Sorry, they don't stand still much.

Lazy days in the dead of winter

It is currently winter break in South Korea. This means the regular Korean teachers get time off from school. They can just chill at home, take enrichment classes, work on things for next semester, whatever. What does it mean for English teachers? Winter camps, desk warming, and in a stoke a good luck for me, a week where I can come straight home after teaching. I am currently camped out in my bed, all the blankets piled on, ondol blasting. My computer is opened to gmail and facebook, and I am ready to veg. I am especially happy today because Marie is finally back from her adventures in China, so I have my chatting buddy back. Yesterday, I was in much the same situation, and after accomplishing nothing but eating too much chicken with noodles (Jim dakk) I made a promise to Marie. I promised to be more productive. Unfortunately, everything outside of my bed is cold. This is supposedly the coldest weather Pohang has seen in 100 years. I question this due to the tumultuous history of Korea and the safety of weather records. Still it is cold. Marie tried to convince me that looking at photos on FB was productive, but maybe she was pointing out that I am just lazy.

So, here is what I need to do today, buy milk. This involves going outside and I need to mentally prepare for that. Clean my apartment. This involves cleaning, and, well... Do yoga. I don't want to do yoga until I do the other two things.

Maybe I will just stay in bed.

Vexing through texting

This morning I taught English to the Pohang teachers. Today's lesson consisted of, "here are funny superstitions westerners have." The teachers loved it. One told me she thought that westerners were less superstitious than Asians, but I changed her mind. Look at me, bridging the cultural gap with, "step on a crack..."

After the class I was dropped off back home where I changed and headed out, in the snow and sleet mind you, to my regular school. Bundled up and ready to roll I decided to walk to a) get some exercise, as shivering and hypothermia burns a ton of calories, and b) save my last 2,000 won in folding money for some kimbap. The best kimbap place is by my school. I dream about their kimbap. They don't take cards at the good kimbap place. I didn't want to go to the atm. I had to walk. 10 minutes later, uphill, through the snow, I had my kimbap and walked to school. I said hello to the principal who told me to leave. Great. My food will be cold if I walk home and eat it there. Also, I don't entirely trust my understanding of whatever comes out of the principal's mouth. His English is poor and his manners are worse. He looks like he should be shilling some crazy spin mop on Korean tv. I went to the VPs office to eat my kimbap and see if he told me to go home. He just looked confused that I was even there and spoke to me in Korean. I sort of love the VP. He never gives up on his dream that one day I will speak fluent Korean and understand everything he says to me. He is like a hopeful little boy playing dress up in a 60 year old man costume.

Anyway, after I ate I went to my office/classroom to look something up and text my co to see if I had to be at school. I did not. Back into the cold I went, this time bolstered by the knowledge that I could snuggle down into bed for the rest of the day... even though I still needed to go to the store to get those stupid missing banana bread ingredients.

I will skip the borningess of puttering around the apartment, and bring us to present time. A text message from my co teacher. "Today did you go to the school? During this camp you dont need to come to school. I said it to you. Did you forget it? after the class you can go back home. The supervisor allowed it." Vexing! Yes, that is why I sent you a text, from school, asking if I could leave. I responded letting her know that in an earlier text tonight she told me I had to give my attendance record to the admin, so I had to go in on Tuesday anyway. "I will do it. I'm taking a training course near my school. It's easier I walk there." That sound you hear is her back breaking as she bends over backwards for me. I express my undying gratidude. "You'r welcome. I just want to help you. After class, you just enjoy your time." I love the fact that I don't have to go back to my school for the rest of the week, but this woman can give a Jewish mother (though not mine because mine is wonderful and perfect) lessons in guilt. Finally, after telling her that I was going to try making banana bread tomorrow, and if it worked I would let her try some, I got this, "You really enjoy cooking. That is very good for you. Someday, but I hope not too long from now, your husband will be very happy with your skills." Yes, my future husband will be most pleased with my rice cooker baking skills. Sorry, that wasn't finally. Here is a new one, I responded saying thank you and got this, "Probably you resembled your mom. Try to keep your mind." Um, I don't recall ever saying anything that could be interpreted as my mother losing her mind. My mother is very much sane. Is she saying I am losing my mind? That is a distinct possibility, but it isn't very nice to call attention to my deteriorating mental status. Maybe she meant, "Try to keep her in your mind, you must miss her." Yes, that is the kindest, lets go with that.

Oh co-teacher, whatever would I do without you?

I want to bake some banana bread please

So I found a recipe on the interwubs for banana bread. I can make it in my rice cooker. I bought bananas, flour, and eggs. I hauled them all back home. I read through the recipe again. I forgot the ever loving baking powder and baking soda. Here are my choices: go back to the store in the freezing cold and snow and buy what I need or eat a pound of bananas. Sigh. I don't even know how to say baking powder or baking soda in Korean.

Update:

Here are some pictures of the banana bread experiments. You mouth can begin watering now.

My first attempt, in pre-cooked batter form.

The first one, finished. I burnt its bottom.

My chocobanana concoction. Again, with a slightly burnt bottom.

Finally, a perfect loaf. This was given as a present to my co-teacher.

The recipe can be found here:

http://www.wideislandview.com/?p=906

Happy New, oh, it is January 3rd...

Oh my, it is already 3 days into the new year and no blog post. Let's fix that, no matter how inane the topic. Wow, January 3rd already. In only 20 days it will be Anna's birthday. Then she will be 29 too. Sorry Anna, I had to say it to make myself feel better.

Speaking of Anna, a long, long time ago she and I realized that New Year's Eve pretty much sucked balls. It was one of the worst days of the year because you got all geared up, and had all these great plans, and then the party ended up being boring and Ben had to steer you to the BART station, running into your brother along the way, or you were stuck in a cab when the clock struck midnight. People were overly excited for something that never really seemed to deliver. That is when we came up with Anna and Jenn's Non-New Year's eve. The recipe was simple, take two girls (later additional garnish of boyfriend/husbands/friends were added), some movies, some frozen appetizers, and absolutely no plans. Whatever happened, happened. Sometimes we stayed home with my youngest brother, sometimes we ended up watching Josie and the Pussycats in San Louis Obisbo (a highly underrated movie), sometimes we would go to a party. What we did didn't matter because we had no expectations for the night.

In honor of this past tradition I decided to try out Jenn's Korean Non-New Year. I had been worrying over the holiday for a month, being in a new country and all. What would I do? Where would I go? Would I be alone in my apartment at midnight? It was all very distressing. I ended up deciding on staying in Pohang. The bigger cities seemed too crowded and hassle like. A friend of mine was hosting a party at a bar close by. I could head there, and if I didn't have fun I could always come home, pop in Josie, and heat up some dumplings. Out into the below freezing conditions I went. As luck would have it, no Josie or dumplings were needed. I ended up having a great time, and got to ring in the new year with friends.

2009 was pretty awesome, I started a new adventure, made new friends, and got a job. I am excited for 2010, as it will bring with it Japan and Polly.

Now I very tired and must pass out. Happy New Year!