Great moments in teaching...

For those of you who don't have facebook and don't get to see my fairly frequent updates about what is going on at school.

Interesting observations of the day: Ch1 of the grade 6 CD-Rom has a rather racist picture of a black kid. Secondly the new 5th grade English teacher thinks I am her bitch and just dropped 4 classes of grading on my desk to be ready by Tuesday.

"Teacher! You are just like Ariel!" Ooh, let's see where this goes. "Soon Prince Eric will fall in love with someone else! Not you! You have no voice." "Oh."

"Chyennipur, why you not eating the sausage." "It's moving of its own accord." "I am sorry, what?" "It isn't to my style."

"I have 4 children, how many do you have?" "Ummm, none." "Oh! But you are married! Why no children?" "I'm not married." "WHAT?!?!?!" I didn't even get to my puppy kicking and baby punching habit.

New volunteers from the university meet me at lunch, "Oh! You are eating Korean food!" "Yes I am." "But no westerners like it!" "Some do." "But it is too spicy for you!" "No, it's ok, I used to eat hot peppers out of the jar as a kid." "And you can use chopsticks!!!!" "I am made of magic." "Ooooh."

"Teacher, I have a question?" "Ok." Who is Simon?" "Huh?" "Simon says touch your toes, who is Simon?" "Oh! It is just a name we use because 'says' starts with an S and we like alliteration." "What is alliteration?" "One of my favorite things ever." "Ok, I like it too."

"Good morning Chyennipur! Today you look like the girl with the dog." Quizzical look on my face. "The one who killed that lady." Horrified look on my face. "She took the lady's shoes." "Oh! You mean Dorothy from Wizard of Oz?" "Yes, today you are her!"

"Teacher, teacher!!" "Hi!" Breathless student, "Hi! I remember your family name. You said yesterday." "Oh that's good, what is it?" "Hymen!" Then I died of laughter.

"Chyennipur teacher! I love you! Marry me!" "Ok, let's get married tomorrow." "Oh!" runs away.

"Teacher! I want to go to England to eat the national food of fish and chips and Indian food and David Beckam." "You want to eat David Beckam?" "Yes, oh, what?"

"I will use the fickle finger of fate to choose the next person." "Teacher! That is an alliteration!" Holy crap, they are retaining information!

"Did you break it?"

"No teacher! Bad magic! Bad magic break it!"

"What is your favorite day?" "My favorite day is Wednesday because I only have 3 academies to go to, and then tae kwan do, and then homework, and then I can take a rest." "Oh.... Um, and what is your favorite day (other student)" "My favorite day is Saturday because I can collect bugs." "Oh! Me too! We will be bug scientists!" "That's called an entomologist." "Oh, ok, I want to be that."

"What is your favorite day?" "I hate every day." "Why?" "Because days are stupid. I like night. I am a vampire. My English name is Edward." "Okie dokie Sparkle Vampire, what is your favorite night?"

"Don't kill each other!" "Hahaha, oh teacher, he MUST die!"

"A, no, no, B! No! Q!" "Ahhh, you make him dead!" "It's ok, we will just play agai.." Little boy looks at the little girl with murder in his eyes, "I hate you now. I want you die." "Um, it's just hangman. Say you are sorry." "I not sorry, I want her dead." "Ok, game over!"

"Chyennipur! Super model!" "Aw, thanksaaag!" As I get a slap on the back from the principal that sends me careening into the cafeteria door. Then, in line: You try! Korean hamburger! You try!!! As he shoves bulgogi wrapped in kimchee into my mouth. Good for you buddy, who needs rules of personal space or etiquette?

"Chyennipur Teacher, I want to clean your room today." "Oh, I think you have to wait two weeks until you are back in here to clean." "I am so sad." "Would it make you feel better to come over and clean my apartment?" "REALLY? I can?" "Ooooh, ummm, oh look, your class is leaving." There is going to be a 5th grader with a broom and dust pan waiting outside my apartment now.