Sunday, September 27, 2009

Pictures are worth a thousand words

I will try to post some pictures tomorrow. Dirk, send me an e-mail to remind me.

Idong E-Mart Adventure

This was originally an e-mail to my friend Marie, but she laughed so hard I decided to post it here.

I went to E-mart to get some new bedding because it occurred to me that one set of sheets and no dryer might not be a great idea. I find my way to the bedding aisle and start looking for the cutest (read least expensive and ugly) sheets I can find. I find a cute set, but the fitted sheet is only a super single (American full) and my bed is a regular single. So I wave down a clerk and ask, hands in the air miming a search, "Single?" The clerk looks at me as if I am a martian and goes to get a different clerk. I repeat the action a few more times until I get the king of the E-mart clerks (crowned, I suspect, for his mastery of a few English words), who motions for me to follow him and says, "Discount." Pleased that I am being taken to the secret cheap stash I follow him. He leads me to the escalator, grabs my cart and sticks it on. "Where is my cart going? Why are we going upstairs? Why can't I speak more Korean?" I wonder. We get upstairs and he leads me to the check out. "Check out!" He proclaims proudly. "Aniyo. Not done," state I. "Check out!" "But I am not done yet." "Check out!" "Need more stuff." "Wait." The clerk leaves and comes back with the store manager who looks at me with a kind face and a smile and says, "Check out!" "Aniyo. Not done. Need more stuff." "You need more shopping?" Oh thank god I think, "Yes. Downstairs." "You leave cart here." And after a month in Korea I finally did it. I asked a Korean, "Why?!?!" Silence in the E-mart. Koreans just don't ask why. "We give you new cart." "I need this cart. Need to match things. I will take cart." "Oooohhh... this clerk with assist with the rest of your shopping." "I am ok. I will go alone." "He will help you." Sigh, "Good bye!" I run back to the escalator with my hard won cart of bedding, get back on and think I am free... until I turn around and see the clerk following me. "I assist you." "I am ok, good bye!" I then escape into the car product aisle until I think I am free. I finish the rest of my shopping and an hour later I am at check out. I am rung up, hand over my card, and start loading my stuff into my cart, wondering how I am going to get everything outside and into a cab. Then I notice my card isn't being handed back to me and the clerk is waiving down the store manager. Oh, did I mention that among my purchases were two pillows? This is important later. I am starting to worry that something is wrong with my card, but I am being allowed to load my cart so I don't think about it too much. Finally my card is handed back to me and the store manager asks me to follow him. "Sigh," think I. I follow the store manager to customer service where I am asked to wait another moment, so I spend that time staring at my cart trying to come up with the best way to carry everything. Two minutes later the manager returns with two giant pillows, "We are very sorry we did not have the single sheet you wanted so much. Please accept our apologies and these excellent pillows." Out loud I proclaim, "Oh! Kam-sa-mida! Kam-sa-mida! So kind!" In my head I think, "Well how the fuck am I supposed to carry these fucking things??? WHY?!?!?!?!?!" So I take the pillows, manage to get my stuff out of the store and into a cab through sheer force of will, and eventually made it home. The moral is, if you come to visit I now have extra pillows for you to sleep on. And that is what happened when I went to the Idong E-mart.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tomorrow is Friday!

Hurrah, the earth did that nifty spinny axis thing, and tomorrow is once again Friday. I am a little worried, I am going to be an old lady, and call it an early evening tomorrow, as Marty and I are planning to do some sight seeing in Gyeongju Saturday and he says I need to be up and ready to depart at 8am. On a Saturday. 8.A.M. That's fine though. I will get my culture on and see wondrous sights. Like a temple or something.

Over the last week or so I have been learning a lot. I have learned that tiny Korean children will ask anything, like "Do you have a boyfriend?" "No." "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Ummmmm, what? No. I don't, wait, is that what you meant to say?" I have a perfect accent... according to the teachers I can barely understand sometimes, and when every one around you is speaking Korean, you can use that time to think about the best way to arrange your socks. Korean dance clubs are the silliest place on earth (more on that in a moment), and lighthouse museums are never interesting. Oh yeah, I also learned that cocoon is foul. Never eat cocoon.

Last weekend a bunch of the westerners went out on Saturday night. I bought a sword with flashy lights and sound effects on the beach. I think I will name it Discolabur. I love the sword and if my classes are good, I might bring it in for them to play with. Probably not though, as that would mean sharing, and I don't want to share the sword. That was the first highlight of the evening. The next was when we left the beach and eventually ended up at the worlds weirdest dance club. Here is how a Pohang disco seems to work: You walk into a giant ballroom fitted out with high walled circular booths. You are led to a booth by an usher. You sit down in your booth/room. Then the dj says something and everyone gets up to go to the dance floor. The girls dance on one side, the boys on the other, as if it were middle school. The songs are constantly interrupted by the djs who will actually stop the music to talk. You dance for about 10 minutes and then the dj tells everyone to sit down. You go back to your booth and as if by magic there is fruit and drink waiting for you. You rest for about 5 minutes and then it is time to dance again. Oh, and everyone seems to know the same dance moves to each song, giving the whole thing a weird teen flick feel. Oh!!! AND I started a new Korean dance move. Ha! I am truly a dancing queen. Normally, I would rather just sit at a bar and talk to my friends, but this place was totally worth it, as it was nuts.

I am going to get in my way back machine and mention Friday night for a bit. Friday night was cocoon eating night. It was totally disgusting, like eating crunchy bile. Pre-cocoon, I went out with the teachers at my school. I was driven into the woods, where I thought I would surely die, fed a traditional meal of meat cooked on the table and shoved into various leaves, (really good), and soju. After we all went to nori ban (like karaoke) where I lost all respect for myself and sang Karma Chameleon. Yeah, that happened. Luckily, as with the night following, I managed to impress my coworkers with my mad dance skills. I think this must be the Korean version of the footloose town and they have never seen dancing before. Anyhow, now they call me Dancing Queen and I sort of love them for it.

Ok, now we jump forward in time (sorry, I am exhausted so this is going to be stream of conscious style) to Sunday. I got home on Sunday morning around 4:30 am. My co-teacher and her husband came over at noon to hang a bar in my closet. Next thing I knew I was in their car and we were going for sushi. That's cool, I like sushi AND free lunch. After lunch my co-teacher says, "We are going to Sunrise Park, call Marty, he can come too." "Oh dear, I am being kidnapped, but at least Marty will be along for the ride," thought I. We swing by the beach, get Marty, and off we go up a windy and nausea inducing road. Thankfully the scenery was worth the trip, and we got to see the first place the sun rises on New Year's day. It was gorgeous. And I thought all I was getting that day was a new rod for my closet. Thanks Korea and all your dynamism.

There is more to write, but I was out late at an expat meeting last night and I am ready to go home, watch some Legend of the Seeker (almost always on, and always in English.) and go to bed.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Dynamic Korea in Action

"Chyennipur, you have a very important meeting with they 3rd grade teachers at 2pm, please go now. I will follow."
I enter the 3rd grade teacher room, a tumble weed blows by, a teacher is asleep on the couch. "Chyennipur, where is every.. Oh! We must not wake teacher. I will call and find out where others are." I sit and look at a children's costume catologue whilst contemplating my halloween costume.
"We meet with 4th grade teachers first."
Meeting with 4th grade teachers = not understanding anything but my name and the number 1.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tenticle Stew

Still obsessed with my lunch today, I have composed a poem to immortalize it.

Oh tentacle stew, I adore you
A mystery of squidgy white, spicy red, and purple curly suckers
You pull me into your depths as I frantically fight to swallow you down
Your enigma of flavors keeps you fresh in my mind and mouth all day
What are you, tentacle stew?

Wow, I think maybe I should stop, as this is becoming less an ode to lunch are more a letter to penthouse.