Untitled Korea Experiment

It's been almost a year since I came to Korea. I've noticed a lot of differences in the culture, some funny, some weird, many disgusting, and some just urine in the pants inducingly scary (Inducingly is an adverb now. I am mad with power.)

Before I came to Korea my mom and I went shopping for some new, teacher appropriate clothing. Modest hemlines and what I thought were modest tops were bought. Then I got here. The teachers often look like they are heading to a club after teaching from the bottom down. From the top up they might be one of those weird polygamist wives that were all the rage a few years back. Collars up to their chins. I think I get a little leeway because I am a foreigner, but I know they don't like that my clavicle shows. I usually just button up my cardigan, but then I have to make the decision, pull down the cardi a bit in the front so it covers my tatoos in the back, or risk showing my tattoos so that my luscious lady lumps are protected by about 6 inches of fabric. I generally choose to cover the tattoos, they are slightly more scandalous.

Koreans seem to blindly believe an awful lot. Maybe I am not getting the full picture due to my inability to speak fluent Korean, but it seems that if the general Korean is told something by a person or article of authority they just don't question it. Two examples: Fan Death and Judaism. Judaism first. I was talking to some of the teachers at my school, and the topic of my religion came up. Suddenly, one of the teachers said, "All Jewish are powerful and have lots of money. They buy buildings and use them for more power." Ummmm, citation needed. I asked what she meant, and where she had gotten her information. She said she read an article about it, but that was all the information she had. I asked if she believed it. "Yes, of course. I read it." This meant we got to have a long discussion about stereotypes and how they are not often true, and can hurt people's feelings. I explained that Jews are just like anyone else, with some being rich and powerful, some being very poor, and many just being normal, everyday people. Fun times. Now for fan death. Every Korean I have met, Every. Single. One. believes that they can die if they fall asleep with the fan running. They must always open a window whenever they are running a fan or the aircon, especially at night. There are a few theories as to why this happens. Split atoms, air molecules being cut up and disappearing, or just run of the mill hypothermia. They believe in this because it is reported on the news. Doctors state it as a cause of death. From what I have read, it is usually when the doctors just don't want to look for the real cause of death or don't want to state it. Fans can kill people!

There are different personal hygiene norms here. I have repeatedly seen people leave restrooms without washing their hands. Covering one's mouth while sneezing or coughing is not necessary, but in the winter many people wear masks... that are usually not pulled down over their mouth. Oh, and I have been spit on. Well, my shoe has. People here spit everywhere. The sad part is that I am starting to get used to the sound and sight of it.

Koreans are often fascinated by the idea of westerners wearing shoes in the house. They think our floors must be filthy all the time. I need to find a nice way of saying that our ground is a little cleaner (as far as ground can be) and so we are not constantly tracking in phlegm, sodden hooker flyers, and (what I pray to god is) dog shit.

Food. As long as you like Korean food, you will never go hungry. Koreans must feed everyone around them. Today I was actually force fed some watermelon. I love watermelon, I can eat a ton, but I was taken by surprise when some was shoved into my mouth. When I first got here, I was a bit uncomfortable with the attention I received just for eating. Did I eat enough, I must still be hungry, here, have some more, no, it is good for health. It seems all Korean food is good for health. It is a wonder anyone ever gets sick in this country.

Speaking of the sick and injured, I see about 20 people in casts every day. I can't figure out if they actually broke something, or if it precautionary. My kids are constantly in slings or crutches. I ask what happened and I usually get, "Oh teacher, I ran too fast." Today I asked a boy what happened and he told me he was running too fast and ran into a wall. I really hope that's the truth.

Ok, that's it for now. I am really going to try and be better about this thing from here on out. Plus, I have a whole new year to write a bunch of meaningless drivel. Wheeeee!